Forklift Operator Jokes

If you’ve ever hung around a warehouse or factory where forklifts are in use (and if you’re reading this, you probably have), you know that forklift operators are generally pretty happy-go-lucky guys who enjoy a good joke. You may not know, though, that forklift drivers are as connected to the internet as everybody else and like to share their jokes online. Here are a few forklift operator jokes we’ve stumbled across online. Be sure and watch the video clip at the end of the post, too. You can only laugh because the poor Russian forklift driver wasn’t seriously injured, but you will find yourself laughing!

Words of Wisdom from an Aging Forklift Operator

One forklift operator approaching retirement age sat down with his younger colleagues and offered them these words of wisdom:

1. Never take a sleeping pill and a laxative at the same time.

2. The one thing all humans share in common is that each of us thinks we are a better driver than everyone else.

3. When God decides it’s time to deliver a direct message to humanity, He will not use a cable TV presenter with a bad hairstyle to channel His message.

4. When things go horribly wrong, someone always steps forward and offers a solution. Unfortunately, that person is usually crazy.

5. Finally – and you’ll have to chew on this one to appreciate it: “Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.”

Some Really Bad Advice from a Visitor to the United States

Not only do we individually think we’re better drivers than everyone else, it seems to be a cultural phenomenon as well. An Austrian gentleman, shocked by the bad driving habits of Americans as compared to his fellow Austrians, decided to study the reasons why there were so many accidents on our roads. After doing some research, he discovered 2 alarming statistics:

1. One-third of all traffic accidents in the United States are caused by drunk drivers.

2. The likelihood of being involved in an accident increases in proportion to the time spent driving.

Armed with these statistics, the gentleman suggested that to minimize your chances of being in an accident in the U.S., you should always drive very fast and very drunk.

A Blond Joke

Forklift drivers love blond jokes. Here’s one of the best:

A blonde gets pulled over by the police for speeding for the second time in 2 days. “What is it this time, officer?” she asks him in an annoyed voice.

“You were speeding, maám,” the officer politely replied. “May I see your license, please?”

That was too much for the blond. “What’s wrong with you guys?” she snapped. “Yesterday you took my license away from me and today you ask me to show it to you! Can’t you get your act together?”

 

There’s a serious side to this video, but the consequences of the forklift operator’s mistake were so extreme, that you can’t help but laugh. His boss wasn’t laughing, though, when the accident ended up costing him big money:

 

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